Be careful what you wish for
by Miss WittyGirl
Summary: It is the 7th year for the Golden trio. After the death of Albus Dumbledore, everyone struggles to keep up appearances. But soon Hermione learns that nothing what it seems. Without Dumbledore Order is not so united, and what her friends are up to? HGSS
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything; I just borrow the characters and play with them!

A/N It is my first fanfiction, so please be gentle. Also English is not my mother language so I guess I'll need a beta… So if anyone is interested, please HELP!

The idea of writing was for quite a while in my head, but first I wanted to finish it and then post. But I abandoned this idea quickly: it is so much more fun to write while having the feedback of readers and I can incorporate some suggestions as well! Here you go.

Now on with the story…

Chapter 1:

And how was she supposed to get herself out of this situation this time? Oh, she is going to kill those two idiots this time fore sure_. How could they do that to her? _

- "You are a Head Girl and McGonagall likes you. You'll have no problem explaining what you were doing in potion class room in the middle of the night. But if she catches the three of us… I guess than loosing house points or having detentions will be the last of our worries. Please Hermione, understand us. We count on you, you are our last hope" – said the wonder boy.

She still didn't know why she said "off you go!" but she knew for sure that soon she'll accomplish something even Voldemort failed to do for the past 17 years - she is going to kill the boy-who-lived.

- "Miss Granger!" Hermione jumped at the voice of her teacher.

- "Professor! You scared me! Oh, I'm sorry!" she looked at her teacher with her large brown eyes. She didn't even had to act a little bit frightened because she really didn't heard Headmistress enter the classroom. She was just hoping that boys had time to escape.

- "What are you doing here Miss Granger?" Hermione noticed that she seemed annoyed but not angry. _Good, slightly strange but I'm not going to complain…_"I know curfew does not apply to you but it is not gives you any right to be in the potion classroom at – she looked at her watch – precisely one o'clock in the morning."

- "I'm sorry Headmistress, I…" _– what the hell she was supposed to say? For some strange reason she didn't think that "steeling ingredients" will be a good answer. – _"… I don't know." She finished her phrase and found herself staring at the floor that looked suspiciously very interesting.

_Well, actually it is not far from the truth_ – she thought – _I still can't get how they convinced me to go with them… Oh yes, you do – _said this little annoying voice in her head_ - you came here because you wanted to. You jumped at the occasion to see this classroom without the new occupant sitting at the desk. Maybe you hoped to find missing clues by coming here or maybe you just expected for him to show up? Don't be ridiculous, Granger!_

- "Miss Granger?" – McGonagall repeated. First she wanted to reprimand the girl for obvious reasons but something in the Head girl's eyes made her change her mind. So instead of taking away the house points she found herself asking "Do you want to talk, Miss Granger?"

Hermione looked at her former transfiguration teacher slightly taken aback by her question. _Talk about what? _But then her inner voice, the one that seamed to have the life of its own reappeared once again _About him, you dolt!_

- "Professor, I'm sorry _Headmistress, _I just…" _Just what exactly, Hermione?_ And then she understood that it was probably the best chance she'll get to speak to someone other than Harry or Ron, who'll probably be of help to her, someone not blinded by prejudices, someone who probably held some answers she couldn't find on her own and someone who, if not understand her, at least will not try to sent her to St Mango's the moment she voiced her thoughts. But at the same time she could not bring herself to trust McGonagall completely.

Innocent, she believed him not, because no one was innocent anymore but she knew something was going on, something very nasty and she needed to figure it out.

So she decided to use the situation for her best.

- "It just don't understand, it doesn't make sense to me."

There was no need to say exactly what they were talking about. Both women understood each other without saying it : they are talking about Severus Snape.

- "And what exactly doesn't make sense to you, Miss Granger?" _It was not secret to anyone that the girl was intelligent. Could it be that she came to the same conclusions most of the Order did after the first shock worn off and they could think rationally again? _

- "I thought about it the whole summer. And more I think about it, more I come to the conclusion that there is more to this than it appears. No, I'm actually sure about it, but I can not prove anything. You know, Professor, it is like a puzzle: you still have many pieces missing but you can already see the whole picture." Here Hermione made a small pause, just long enough to look at her former teacher, and continued with more determination in her voice, the one she usually used in class giving the answers, but slightly defensive this time and prepared to prove her point. "To put it bluntly, I don't think that professor Snape betrayed Professor Dumbledore, nor do I think that he wanted to kill him. I'm more inclined to think that he was forced to." _The question is by whom?_

Here again she stopped for a second and Minerva actually thought that the girl had finished but when she tried to speak Hermione started once again

"Let me explain it. As I said, I was trying to figure out what exactly happened that night, apart the obvious of course, and so many things are just ... illogical. For example the behaviour of professor Snape down in the dungeons - I mean if he truly was a deatheater he would have killed professor Flitwick and not just stunned him, the same fate should have awaited myself and Luna, and considering how powerful professor Snape is it would have been like a child game to kill us but no, he said that professor needed help and made us stay behind. It is like… like he wanted to keep us down there, away from other Deatheaters, out of the battle …_I know you wanted to keep us safe, Professor._ Or when Harry was running after him, instead of killing him, or stunning, or even kidnapping him, he was lecturing him how to throw hexes! Have you ever seen a deatheater instructing his victim how to fight him? It just does not make any sense to me, but there is so many things I do not know that I am afraid to jump from one false conclusion to another! What about this Unbreakable Vow? And why was he quarrelling with professor Dumbledore? I am so confused, I just do not know what to think anymore… I'm sorry professor, you must think I'm mad to say things like this ."

And then she became quiet, staring at the desk where Snape usually sat but Minerva was not sure whether the girl was seeing anything at all. McGonagall observed her favourite student and had to admit that she was not at all surprised to hear that from Hermione, _come on Minerva, you expected this. But then why you feel frozen with fear? Now you have to decide what to do. The best way of action would have been to say to the girl to forget about everything, that it is not her business but aurors, but she knew it will not work with her. To suppose otherwise would be insulting her intelligence. So she made a decision. But first she had to know_

- Miss Granger, did you tell anyone what you just told me?

- Well, I tried to talk to Harry and Ron but then Harry nearly killed me just for saying such a thing and Ron asked if I needed an urgent medical assistance, in both cases I think it didn't go well. I didn't try since.

- "And Order members?"

- "It seamed to me that they had other things on their minds, they would have not listened to me. I tried to speak with professor Lupin but apparently he was busy and I didn't bother him again. And considering that I spend most of the summer with my parents I didn't see many of them."

Minerva considered for a moment and then said:

- "Miss Granger, it is late and we shouldn't be here discussing such things: it is neither place nor time for it. I advise you to go back to your room and try to sleep the few precious hours left. But I would ask you to come to my office tomorrow immediately after breakfast. I think we have few things to discuss. Goodnight Miss Granger"

And she turned to leave but before she reached the door she heard barely audible whisper she knew was not meant for her to hear:

- "I just wish you were here, professor…"

_Be careful what you wish for, Miss Granger. _And with that she left.

§§§

First Minerva decided to go to her office but she changed her mind halfway. _It is better not to waste any time, we can not allow ourselves this luxury. This girl puts two and two together too quickly for her own good._ And then she wondered why Hermione didn't voice her concerns before. It seams she had figured it out not long after the summer holidays started. _Of course it was not the wisest thing to speak to Mr Potter and Mr Weasley about this but others? Why, Hermione? What is going on in that mind of yours?_ Why was she not as good at legimency as was Albus. _I guess just I should consider myself lucky for that she opened to me. She did, didn't she?_

Her musings stopped as she approached the portrait of little girl playing with a kitten. _Why would Remus choose a portrait such as this?_ But it was not her concern right know so she just said the password and the massive wooden door appeared behind the portrait. She knocked.

The door swung open immediately, _it means that Remus is still awake_. _Good, I'll not have to feel guilty about waking the poor man_. She stepped in the living room, decorated with taste and abundance of Gryffindor colours. _Some of us never change…_ In the corner there were two armchairs and a sofa, near the window stood a huge bookshelf… _It is cosy. It should be nice to spent time here drinking tea…_ But once again she didn't have time finish her observation because a second later Lupin appeared

- "Minerva, I cannot say I'm not surprised to see you. To what do I awe this pleasure?"

- "I'm sorry to disturb you, Remus, I know it is late. But I just had a very interesting conversation with our Head Girl.

A worried look appeared on DADA teacher face " Something wrong? Harry?"

- "No, it is not about Harry this time, it is about Severus."

Minerva observed carefully the display of emotions on his face. She could see first the relief wash over his face but then it changed back to worried. And she got the feeling he was even more concerned than before.

- "What happened? Did she figure it out?"

- "Not completely. She just has her suspicions, nothing very solid but she is on the right path. I'm afraid it'll not be long before she understands everything. And then… She is not a Head Girl for nothing. But sometimes I fear… No, I'm sure that she'll not like what she'll find out, not one bit of it."

- "But how can you be so sure?"

- "Call it a witch intuition, but there was something about her today while she was talking that let me believe that there is more to this than it appears" _Much more._ "And we can't afford to loose her trust. You know as well as I do, Remus, that she is part of the Plan. And I'm afraid we'll need her sooner than expected."

- "I see. So what do you propose? She is not an order member yet. We can't just tell her everything, can we?"

- "I propose to introduce her into the Order as an official member." And before Remus had time to say something, she added "She is of age".

§§§

Hermione watched McGonagall leave the classroom and released the breath she didn't know she was holding. _That went well, I guess._ _Probably Harry and Ron will even survive this night. Speaking of them… Of course they will want to know how did I managed to escape McGonagall and I certainly can't tell them what kind of conversation I just had with the Headmistress. I'll think about it later._

Hermione looked once again around the classroom. _What should I do? I'm alone here, I can inspect this place at my leisure. It is a chance I'll probably will have never again. _She already made a step towards the door to the office, but suddenly decided against it. _It is silly. He didn't occupy this place for more than a year. And even if he had something hidden in there, he certainly changed the location. After all it is Snape we are talking about, an extra careful type, and he'll never leave something of importance somewhere where somebody like Slughorn can find. It is definitively not here._ And with that she turned and went to storage room, took the ingredient Harry and Ron were looking for, another two she needed herself, and with that left the classroom.

§§§

Harry and Ron were waiting for Hermione in the common room. It is not like they had much choice about the place: being in the corridor in front of her door was too dangerous in case McGonagall decides to accompany Hermione to her room or another teacher decides to do his or her rounds exactly at this hour and, as Gryffindors were known for mischief, they never failed to expect extra carefully the area around Gryffindor tower. To be honest, they were not the only house to be subject to those measures, the same goes for Slytherins, but for once there was not a single Slytherin concerned, or at least they thought so. So the only thing left for them was sit in their common room and hope that Hermione will try to speak with them.

- "Where is she?" – Ron was obviously worried – "She should be back by now already, what takes her so much time? Maybe she's really having problems with McGonagall?"

- "Don't worry mate, - said Harry not less worried but wanting to reassure his friend, - probably she is using this occasion to speak to McGonagall about some extra project she is so fond of".

- "You are probably right, but I can't help but feel guilty. After all it was us who made her stay there. If she is in a trouble, it's only because of us".

- "Serves you right!" – said the voice behind them

- "Hermione! We knew you'll make it! How did you explain everything to McGonagall?"

_Flip, I forgot about this one. What can I say? Well a truth is always better than a bad lie. And as I do not have time to conjure a good lie… _

- "I have your ingredients. Now you two are going to tell me why do you need them before I handle them to you"

… _I'll try to change the subject._

- "But Hermione…"

- "There is no "but", Ronald. This ingredient is not in our potion kit for a reason – the dragon gall is not only can be very toxic, but also has a highly explosive nature. If it is not used with care and precision the results can be disastrous. And knowing how wonderful you two are in potion making, I can only hope, for the sake of the school, that you'll be intelligent enough to tell me what you need this for and beg me to make this potion for you. So, are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

To be honest she slightly exaggerated the power of this ingredient. In order to preserve its qualities as long as possible and minimize the danger as well, it was kept in powder form and not it's liquid one. It became acid and dangerous only when in contact with distillate water and by the time it was usually added to potion it contained quite a few ingredients to neutralise it, and this not taking into account the fact that the base itself for eighty five percent of potions was enough to annihilate the said effects. But still there were few potions when a wrong use of the dragon gall can be the very last thing you do in your life._ Sure they will not attempt to brew one of those potions but better be safe then sorry._

- "So guys, I'm waiting," - said she crossing her arms at her chest, thus adopting her best Hermione Granger-the- Head Girl posture which allowed no discussion but only obedience.

Harry and Ron looked at each other in hesitation, it looked like it was the most difficult decision they had to take in their lives. _I'm intrigued now. What can they be planning, that they are so reluctant to tell me._

Now the boys started acting very strange: winking at each other, silently moving their lips, shake their heads; the only words that left there mouths were "no", "we can't", "yes", "we do not have a choice". _And what should I do with that?_

- "You know boys, I'm not in the mood to watch your clownery. I'm tired and I'm going to sleep. When you decided what to do, you know where to find me". And with that she left.

A/N So what do you think? Is it worth to continue?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thank you for all who reviewed:

Ghzowy : Thank you, for the support, it means a lot. As for the questions, you'll have just wait and see ;)

Sampdoria: I was very moved by your remarks, it is really encouraging to know that your work is appreciated. Do not worry: I have every intention to take it to the end. I admit, it might take a while, but I already have the idea of the last chapter in my head! The problem is to fill the space between the first and last one ;)

Villafoo: it is always nice to know that you liked it. Here is the next chapter, hope you'll enjoy it as much as the first!

DanniV: your wish is fulfilled: here is the next chapter.

Just to let everybody know: as long there is at least one person interested in reading this story, I'll continue to write and post it.

By the way, I was (pleasantly) surprised not to get any flames, but then I noticed while exploring my account that the non-registered reviews were not allowed… "Oops!" I said to myself. So I changed that. I know, I should have done it earlier, but better late than never. So now feel free to review! I'll not tell you not to flame me (after all everyone has the right to freedom of expression) but I admit that constructive criticism is more welcome. After all if you tell me what exactly you do not like, I can work on it and make it better.

Now, on with the story

Chapter 2:

It is a common knowledge that there are some days when everything just goes wrong. It is also a common knowledge that those days it is better to invent yourself an one-day illness, stay in a bed and rest. But it is usually only by the end of the day that one come to the conclusion that it was a mistake to get up at all. They really shouldn't have.

Also the knowing people will tell you that there are some clearly identified signs of _dies malus _or more commonly known as bad day. And Hermione just made the mistake of not paying the due attention to the most obvious one – she overslept. So instead of pretending that she suddenly discovered quite a nasty flu, she was about to beat the record of the time she needed to get ready.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!" – swore quite a panicked Hermione – "Never in my entire life had I overslept, and the day it finally happens it has to be the day I have a meeting with Headmistress". Well, the breakfast ended five minutes ago and she still has to brush her hair and put the make up. "Argh!" – cried our frustrated Head Girl when her hairbrush got stuck once again in the mass of what only yesterday evening were curls and now looked more like a bird's nest. To be honest there was nothing unusual, it was the ritual she was going through every morning, but today she was already late and saying "I'm sorry Headmistress, I overslept and then I was having a fight with my hair" didn't seem as a good excuse to her. So instead she quickly applied the spell praying that nobody will say "finite incantatum" in her vicinity, left her dorm and run to meet Professor McGonagall.

When she reached the Headmistress office she was out of breath. _I really should convince Professor McGonagall to connect my fireplace to the school network. Otherwise, what's the point to have a fireplace at all?_

She was late, there was no doubt about it, and to be honest Hermione didn't know what was the point of coming besides saying "I'm sorry, professor, I'm late" and then be off to her classes.

She was about to say the password to the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to the headmistress office when she actually remembered what this meeting was about. _No, _she corrected herself,_ I have absolutely no idea what is about._ But she knew all too well that this meeting was the consequence of her Gryffindor stupidity. So now, with a little bit less confidence she said quickly the password and stepped into moving staircase before all her courage left her and less than in a minute she was knocking at the door of Headmistress office.

§§§

Meanwhile, two other members of the Golden trio were still having 'to tell or not to tell' conversation.

- "Come on, Ron, she is our best friend, she'll understand.

- "You forget that she is a girl, and girls have a different brain structure. And you add to that the fact that she is a Head Girl… She'll never forgive us!

- "The Head Girl that saved our asses yesterday, Ron! If not for her, we would probably be serving detentions for next few weeks and loose Merlin knows how many points. And we agree that we need this potion if we want to go through this plan…"

- "Sure, but don't you think that she'll freak out if she learns what we are about to do ?"

- "You are right. But what should we do? We need this blasted ingredient, and we do not have time to ask Fred and George for it… It is already mid September and if we do not start it in one week, we'll be late on the schedule."

- "So what we are about to do?"

- I don't know, mate, I do not know…"

But as soon as the words left Harry's mouth, his face was suddenly illuminated by a huge grin

- "Ron, what if we let her believe that we need the potion for it actual use?"

Ron nearly chocked on his pumpkin juice, and with a look of disbelief he looked at his friend as if he had gone crazy

- " Tell me you are not serious! Hermione will never believe in this rubbish!"

- "I'm perfectly serious, and it might actually work! As you pointed out Hermione IS a girl, and GIRLS like this kind of things, you know romantic stuff, undying love, roses and chocolate!"

- "Yeah, but… You know… It is so embarrassing!" And then Ron turned quite an unexpected shade of pink, that Harry couldn't hide his surprise.

- "What's wrong, mate?" he asked very concerned.

- "Shevazmygirlfriend", said Ron all to quickly

- "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

- "She was my girlfriend".

- "Oh" Harry could only say, the meaning of Ron's words sinking into his brain. _How could I forget this little disaster they called going out together. It was more like being at battlefield._ But then another question popped into his brain and before he could tell his brain that maybe he didn't want to know the answer, his traitorous tong voiced the question "But you didn't…"

- "NO!", was Ron's quick answer, but Harry was glad because it stopped him from saying aloud the end of very awkward question.

- "We never got to the point", admitted Ron, "With all this fighting we had it was not the best opportunity, if you see what I mean. I know they say that make up sex is the best but one, but I really didn't want to end up with a knife in my back… You know mate how scary she can be."

- "That I know", admitted Harry and silence that followed allowed them to finish breakfast.

- "So what did you decide, Ron?" Harry started the subject again once they were in the corridor.

- "I really do not like the idea, but I've got a feeling that I do not have a choice in this matter if we want to continue with the plan. And I'm still hoping, - he said and little devilish smile appeared on his face, - that all those years she spent with us limited the brain damage the girls usually develop at this age". Now he was openly grinning.

- "That's the spirit, mate!" – exclaimed Harry grinning himself. But then something came into his mind that made his smile disappear. "But where is she?"

§§§

The knot in her stomach was getting tighter and few seconds that passed between her knock on the Headmistress office door and the expected "come in" seemed to Hermione like eternity.

When she entered, McGonagall was seating behind her desk and seemed quite surprised to see the Head Girl. _Did I misunderstand something?_ Hermione asked herself still wondering how she managed to get herself in such a mess. Instead she said "Good morning, Professor."

- "Good morning, Miss Granger. I admit, I didn't expect you this morning".

_Now I'm officially lost. Was I dreaming that Professor wanted to talk to me_?

- "I'm sorry, Professor, but I understood that you wanted to speak with me just after breakfast."

- "Yes, Miss Granger, but considering the fact that you ignored the breakfast today, I assumed that our meeting will be postponed."

- "I apologize, Professor…" started Hermione feeling uneasy. She was feeling as if she let down Professor McGonagall.

- "It does not matter, Miss Granger. Anyway, we would not have enough time to discuss everything this morning." And without letting Hermione enough time to think she added "I trust you have rounds tonight?"

- "Yes, Professor"

- "I would like you to join me this evening in my office, I believe that we have some matters to discuss. And I also believe that Miss Weasley will not mind acting as you substitute tonight."

- "Yes, Professor". It was all that Hermione could say.

- "Now, Miss Granger, I advise you to hurry unless you want to be late for your class."

- "Good day, Professor". And with that she left, even more confused than before.

She started to walk to her class when she noticed that in her hurry this morning she didn't take her school bag with her. "Bloody hell!" and for the second time this day, that barely started, she found herself running in the corridors of Hogwarts, and it was already no surprise to her when she was late for transfiguration class. _It is really not my day._

§§§

Harry and Ron couldn't find an opportunity to speak to Hermione until later this day. Her being either in a class, or in the library or being occupied with Head Girl duties were the main reasons for that, considering the fact that classroom or kingdom of books were not the places to talk about stolen ingredients and how to break school rules. Neither were the Great Hall or Common Room for that matter. That is how the three of them ended up in Head Girl's room just after dinner and an hour before she had to meet with Headmistress.

- "So guys, what you wanted to talk to me about?"

- "Hermione, - started Harry slightly insecure about what to say, - we… we wanted to talk to you about the potion".

Hermione looked confused for a moment. _What potion? _was running through her mind. _Did I miss something Professor Slughorn was saying?_ The events of the day were really getting on her. To resume: she overslept, was late for meeting with the Headmistress, then was late for her Transfiguration class with the new teacher who felt the need to establish discipline by being even meaner than Snape. And if the latter was at least a brilliant potion master, Hermione had doubts about the capacities of the former. _Thanks Merlin she is only a temporary replacement before Professor McGonagall can find a suitable permanent teacher._ Anyway, coming back to the events of the day, she was forced to skip lunch because she had to check some theories before Charm class but she never managed to finish what she started because two second years Slytherins choose exactly this moment to play a joke on two first year Hufflepuffs and so she was forced to spend the rest of her lunch time sorting this little accident with Head of Houses and then act as a counsellor for the terrified Hufflepuffs, she was the Head Girl after all. But after some time she had to admit the defeat and bring them to Mme Pomfrey so she could give them a calming draught. And after that, guess what? You are absolutely right: she was late for her class. Again. _At least it was a potion class and Professor Slughorn knew about the reason of me being late. After all he inherited the title of Slytherins Head of House after Professor Snape disappeared. And I did have the note from Poppy._ But it did not change the fact that Hermione never got the time to finish her potion and she had yet to make Professor Slughorn to agree to schedule an extra potions with her so she can actually brew the potion and get the mark. And now, after she finally got her first meal of the day and she actually started to believe that maybe her day can get better, Harry and Ron wanted to talk to her about the potion?

- "The potion?"- she asked tentatively

- "Yes, the potion we needed dragon gall for", - specified Ron seeing her confusion.

- "Oh, that one!" _How could I forget about that one, considering that it can be considered as the source of all my miseries of the day? Well, maybe not all, but a good part of them for sure…_ Hermione was very tempted to start banging her head against the door. But instead she continued "I'm sorry guys, but I've got such a day that I slightly forgot about it, thanks for reminding me."

- "Yeah, 'Mione, we noticed. Being late for two classes during one day… We are speaking about a record here!"

- "Do not remind me about that!" she said and hid her face in her hands embarrassed. "So, are you going to tell me about this potion or yours?"

- "It is…" - started Harry refusing to look at her. "Promise first you are not going to laugh!"

- "To laugh?" – asked Hermione confused for Merlin knows which time this day.

- "Promise, 'Mione!" Repeated Ron

Now Hermione was getting angry "Is it some kind of joke?! You dragged me into it for a joke?! I…"

- "No!" - exclaimed two boys simultaneously. "It is not for a joke, - continued Harry, - it is …

- "It's called Sensus Parilis", - finished Ron and silence filled every inch of the room. The boys were waiting for explosion, and Hermione was trying to remember what she knew about it.

Sensus Parilis potion is mostly used by lovers in order to share their feelings and sensations during most intimate moments. In Middle Ages it was one of the most guarded potion masters' secret and was used as a part of binding ceremony. But this practice was abandoned due to the complexity of the potion, however the secret itself was not lost: the most brilliant potion masters were continuing to brew it, making it a very generous gift. Later, one of them, Frederic Guardon, if she remembered correctly, created a commerce and started selling it, what cost him his potion master title but made him also one of the richest men of the century. Nowadays, it is one of the most expensive and most difficult to find potions. Some were trying to brew it themselves but the difficulties to obtain the needed ingredients were enough to discourage most people from attempting it.

- "You ARE joking, right?" Hermione said finally in disbelief but the look of their faces told her they were not. So she continued: "Do you have a slightest idea how difficult this potion is?"

- "Hermione, we researched this potion well, we found not only the instructions, but also we read about side effects and the consequences of possible mistakes." – Ron said and Harry continued:

- "Believe us, 'Mione. For once we really KNOW what we are doing."

- "But… why?" asked Hermione refusing to believe what she just learned.

- "Hermione – started Harry, not sure what exactly he should say to make her understand him and after shooting an apologetic look at Ron, he continued – Please try to understand, you know that I love Ginny more than I can express with words. I want her not only to know it, I want her to feel it. Please, I know that it is not a good moment for such things with Voldemort out unto open, but it is probably the best I'll ever have." Hermione looked into his eyes and saw no irony but only the seriousness and sadness, and she understood what he was thinking. He understands that he may not live to see the era without Voldemort. He understands and he accepts it. She wanted to say something like '_Harry, how can you say that!_' but couldn't. What he just said was the truth and against it one is helpless. And she found herself saying: "Ok, guys, I'll help you."

In a second she was pulled into a hug by Harry and Ron. "We love you, Hermione, you know that?"

- "Of course, and I love you too, guys. Now, you better be going. I do not want two jealous gryffindors banging at my door" It was true that neither Lavender and nor even Ginny couldn't understand the nature of their relationship. "And I have to hurry up as well for the meeting with McGonagall, before I'm late once again. Oh, and Harry" – she added with a smile but her tone was serious – "I know I'm not supposed to encourage the rule breaking, but I'll feel better if you kept an eye on Ginny, she covering for me tonight. Just do not forget this cloak of yours…"

- "Do not worry, Hermione, I'll not let her wander in corridors alone at night, and thanks for letting me know." And after a second he added "And if ever I'll get caught I can always say I had your blessing!" And before she could throw something at him, he disappeared just after Ron.

Once alone, she turned to the armchair where Crookshanks was making a good job of appearing asleep.

- "What I just got myself into, Crooks?" she asked not really counting on a reply but still somehow irritated when Crookshanks sent her a glare, obviously displeased to be disturbed for such a silly thing.

_Anyway, I've better be going, unless I want to be late again._

And she left, completely oblivious to the fact that the little midnight adventure she had yesterday with her friends was only the first link in a long chain of events, the little detail that set in motion a complex mechanism that will change her life in a way she couldn't think possible.

§§§

In the Gryffindor common room, sitting in the armchairs in front of the fireplace two members of the dream team were discussing the conversation they just had with their best friend.

- "You know, Harry, I feel bad about telling her the whole truth."

- "I know what you mean, mate, but we really can not tell her about our plan. She'll do everything to keep us from going through it, or worse, she'll insist on joining us".

- "I know, It just feels, we are betraying her trust".

- "Yeah… And knowing her temper, I hope she'll never find what we really need the potion for".

- "And after all, we are not even sure that it is going to work."

- "Don't worry, Ron, everything is going to be alright. The last ingredients ordered by owl will arrive tomorrow, and we already have the rest and Hermione agreed to help us. If my calculations are good we will complete the testing by Halloween and then we can move on with the next step. And know I have to go: I have Ginny to keep out of trouble."

- "See you later, mate. Oh, and Harry…"

- "Yes?"

- "I'm amazed by your acting skills!"

A/N Here you go: another chapter. Hope you enjoyed it, but I still need a beta.

In next chapter Hermione is becoming the member of the Order and we'll have the first glimpse at Severus (yes, the Dark and Brooding but one and only!). And I also have a question (remembering me telling you that the story is not finished and I like readers being able to express themselves?) : I need to pair Draco with somebody: any preferences? Do you want it to be the canon character or not? If yes which one? It really can be anyone except Hermione.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: It had been two weeks since I updated and I didn't get a single review… You know, it is not the best way to encourage someone who is new to writing. And after such nice first reviews I was really disappointed!

I'm not asking for dozens of reviews, I just want to know whether somebody is actually interested in reading this story. Because, as I said in previous chapter (the one that nobody reviewed), as long as there is at least one person interested in my story, I'll continue. If not – I see no point in loosing my time, trying to put on paper something that already exists in my head.

By the way, still no beta?

Now on with the story:

Chapter 3 :

Headmistress McGonagall was sitting behind her desk in her new office, starring at one point somewhere above the door and trying to understand whether she made today the biggest mistake of her life or it was the strategic move that Albus would have been proud of. The last order members left few minutes ago and now she was desperately trying to replay in her mind the events of the last few hours.

Then suddenly she stood up and was about to retrieve her pensive, when a knock at the door startled her. Wondering who it might be, she said "Enter!" and she saw Remus walking into her office.

- "I apologise, Minerva, for such late visit. I hope I'm not disturbing you?" – he said slightly worried.

- "Of course not! And after all, my visit yesterday was much later than that. I trust you accompanied Miss Granger to her rooms?" and after she saw Remus nod in confirmation she continued – "How did she take it?"

- "I'm afraid not well", - and the werewolf shoot an apologetic look at the Headmistress as if he had something to apologise for – "I tried to talk to her on our way back, but she remained silent. Just said that she has a lot of information to process and knowing Hermione the lack of the flow of unstoppable questions means nothing good."

For a few minutes the two worried adults remained silent, and suddenly Minerva remembered what she was about to do before Remus came in.

- "Remus, I was about to review the order meeting, would you like to join me?" – said Minerva and looked at the pensive.

- "If you do not mind me being in your thoughts, than I'll gladly join you. I admit that I have a nagging feeling that I missed something important…"

§§§

Remus and Minerva found themselves in the large beautifully decorated room, very alike the other rooms at Hogwarts except for one thing: there were no paintings at the walls. And if some wizard will ever try to test the wards, he will never manage to identify them all. And if by some miracle, he does, it will be impossible for him to bring them down. Not many people new about its existence and even less knew where it is located. Only few selected were granted the access. This room was neither mentioned in _Hogwarts: A History_, nor it could be found by accident. The Hogwarts' Heart, and it certainly was exactly that, was the most guarded room, linked to the Headmaster office. Initially, it was only the staff room, where the four founders could discuss all kind of things far from prying ears of students. With time, it became the sanctuary, the secret place revealed only to Headmasters where they held the most important meetings. Each headmaster, in order to be accepted by the castle, had to add a new layer of protective charms. So, as a result of more than a thousand years of existence, this room became not only implotable, impossible to eavesdrop, but it also held the members to the secrecy, so everything that passed in this room, stayed in this room. No charms, no potions were yet invented to force people to reveal secrets of this room, because one cannot reveal something that doesn't belong to you. It belongs to Hogwarts, to its heart.

So it is no wonder that this room was chosen for initiation ceremony of all order members, making it impossible to reveal the names even under verisaterum.

McGonagall looked around: all the inner circle was already here. She could see herself presiding the table, Remus was sitting at her left, and Moody was at her right. Kingsley Shacklebolt, Arthur Weasley, Hestia Jones and Emmeline Vance were already sitted. Two places were unoccupied : one was empty because they did not yet find the ninth member to replace the vacancy created after the death of Albus Dumbledor. The other belong to Severus Snape. Minerva looked sadly at this empty spot. _This place is yours, Severus. I hope you'll be back to claim it._ But she didn't have to pursue her thoughts as her memory self stood up and was about to begin the meeting. Of course she knew the speech by heart._ After_ _all I spent the best part of the last twenty four hours trying to figure out what exactly I was going to say to the Order to convince them to admit Miss Granger_. But nevertheless she decided to listen carefully, like Remus, who was already completely absorbed by what was happening around.

§§

"Ladies and Gentlemen,

Thank you for responding at such a short notice, but something unexpected came to my attention. I trust all of you know Miss Granger and there is no need to present her to all present here today. I'll not make a long speech, but I'll only say: Miss Granger came too close to figuring out what really happened and I dare say our plan and Severus are at risk of exposure if the information goes out. So I, Minerva McGonagall, Head of the Order of Phoenix, submit the candidature of Hermione Granger for the approval of the Committee."

Here Remus stood up as it was his turn:

- "I, Remus Lupin, member of the Inner circle of Order of Phoenix, vouch of Hermione Granger, I swear on my honour her loyalty, the rightness of her beliefs and good conduct and I demand the Committee to second the proposition".

Now, according too the procedure, two members had to second the proposition in order to allow the discussion to begin.

There was the silence. Usually the candidatures were agreed on long before the ceremony itself and the procedure was only a formality. Today, the members received quite a shock they were not prepared to take and they have to make a decision right here and now. The choice they had was not an easy one: either they let in the Order somebody they do not agree on, or they refuse to do so and then there is a chance they will compromise the safety of the person who was doing the major part of the work in defeating Voldemort.

It was Emmeline Vance who broke the silence that lasted only a minute but seemed like an eternity to all present:

- "I second". And she was followed immediately by Hestia Jones

- "I second. But I do it only in order to allow the discussion to continue. I want to know what was so important that Miss Granger discovered that will allow her to get her place in the Order."

- "I'll let you judge by yourself, Emmeline". And with those words, Minerva brought out her wand and after few flicks the wall behind her became white and a bizarre object, that strangely reminded of muggle projector, appeared. Then she made another complicated wand movement and a thin silver thread appeared from her temple and she directed it to the said object, and as soon as the thread touched it, the image of potion classroom appeared on the wall. With last flick McGonagall extinguished the lights and everybody found themselves watching the scene.

§§

The first who spoke was Alastor Moody.

- "With all due respect, Minerva, I do not see anything compromising about this situation. The girl just actually proved that she indeed does possess a brain. She just came to the same conclusions we did after the events. I hope you didn't forget that we all believed Snape to be the traitor, before we came to our senses and began looking for explanations and proofs. We were able to find the evidences, she will not. No proofs, no crime. End of story. You just tell her to forget about everything, be a good girl, and go back to her routine, and let the adults deal with the situation".

- "I agree with Moody, said Arthur who remained silent trough the whole meeting, - "on the point that at the moment there is nothing to worry about. But my concern is whether Hermione will not start looking for the said proofs and whether she will find them? I know Hermione very well, she is like a daughter to me and of course I would like to spare her as long as I could from this war, but I think she is already in the middle of it just because she is Muggleborn and Harry Potter's friend. Whatt's more: I learned the hard way never underestimate her. I'll not be surprised that if she'll not be able to find proofs in the castle, she'll start looking outside."

- "You mean, you think she is foolish enough to run away looking for Severus?"

- "No, I'd leave this role for boys. But I'll not be surprised if she finds an alternative way to contact him… Mmmm…for example a letter. Yes, definitively Hermione will go for a letter."

- "A letter?!" exclaimed Moody who was looking like he was having a heart attack. "That just proves my point, if this chit can send a letter to our dear Snape asking for explanations, the letter that anyone can read, she is not mature enough to become the member of the Order, no matter how smart everyone thinks she is".

- "May I disagree with you, - it was very amused Lupin who spoke, - I believe that if we suppose that she'll address a letter to Severus, and believe me she has to be really desperate in order to do it, she would never send it like that, open to everyone who wants to read it. She will probably put quite a few layers of protective charms to be sure that only Severus and Severus alone could read it. And, - he added with a huge smirk he didn't even tried to hide, - she will probably add another little charm of hers that will ensure that our dear Severus actually answers her letter. I heard she is really good with them, especially the jinxes."

Moody was about to respond when Kingsley, who remained silent through the evening, decided it was a moment to intervene

- "If I may say something about this matter, I do not know Miss Granger as well as most of you, but after all I heard today, it seems that Miss Granger is very intelligent and smart witch. We can always hope that her suspicions will stay only that – suspicions. But there is always a risk that she'll go further and the whole truth will come out. The question is – do we really want to take that risk? Everyone was giving his or hers personal opinion, so I'll give you mine: the Order is not as strong as it was before. I do not know whether you noticed the number of casualties we suffered last year: Podmore arrested, Albus and Amelia dead, Severus is out of reach for the moment. To be honest we do not know whether he is still alive. And this in the space of one year. We need fresh blood: sooner or later they will join the Order; I know many of you prefer it to be later that sooner, but sometimes we have no choice. And I think that Miss Granger, no matter how young she is, will be a great addition to the Order. First of all, she will be under our control: we control the information she receives and how she uses it. Second, it will make another order member at the school. For now there is only Minerva and Remus: it is not too much considering the circumstances. Miss Granger will be able to keep an eye on students: I guess it will not be difficult considering that she is already a Head Girl, and we will know that we can count on her. And I dare to say that if it comes to worse, I'll not say no to another wand in our camp, especially, if I understood correctly, Remus", - here he turned to face Lupin, - "you are having advanced duelling classes with Miss Granger and Messieurs Potter and Weasley?"

Remus only nodded in response, and Minerva thought it was the best moment to launch the vote. _Now or never._

- "So who votes for introducing Miss Hermione Granger, current student and Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, into the Order of Phoenix, as full time member?"

- " I do", – Remus was the first one to vote. He took his wand and pointed to the center of the room. And jet of red light appeared.

- "I do", – it was Kingsley's turn, he made the same movement Remus did just a few seconds ago, and the red spot on the floor became bigger.

- "I do", – said Hestia, completely convinced by the debate and added her part to the light.

- "I do", – Arthur joined the group.

- "I do", - said Emmeline and with the new jet of the light one can clearly see the circle showing up on the floor.

Now everyone turned to Moody, because he was the only one who didn't say a word. He looked pensive, but after a moment he also lifted his wand and said "I do".

Then Minerva lifted her wand and said: "I, Minerva McGonagall, Head of the order of Phoenix, by the power given to me by this committee, declare Miss Hermione Granger from now on a full member of the Order of Phoenix". The circle flamed up and disappeared in space of a second living just a thin line on the floor as a reminder of what just happened.

The ceremony was completed. The only thing left was to notify Miss Granger of her new status.

§§§

Severus Snape was standing in front of the window and looking outside. It was raining. And he hated rain. It was wet. And cold. And depressing. As if he didn't have enough things in this parody of life to be depressed over. No, not depressed. Depression was the sign of weakness and Severus Snape was not a weak person. As the self-pity was the sign of cowardice. And Severus Snape was not a coward. He just wished things were different. He knew it was pointless, but he couldn't help himself to wonder what his life would be if he didn't take the dark mark in his youth. Would he be still alive? Would he have family? This mistake was made so long time ago, yet so fresh in his memory: him kneeling in front of Dark Lord and swearing allegiance to him truly believing that what he was doing was right. How long time passed since then? Seventeen years? More?

And since then his life didn't belong to him anymore. He, who valued his freedom more than anything became a servant. Servant for two masters. Swearing allegiance to one, then another, unbreakable vows, binding spels, charms, jinxes - everithing to limit his freedom. Will there ever be an end to all of this? He didn't know. _I'm not sure that even in dead I'll ever be free._

But it was his deepest desire: to be free It was the goal in his life, a light at the end of the tunnel. _If ever I survive this war, I'll go away; I'll be free with no one to tie me down. No one will regret me, I'll not regret anyone._ So he imagined that instead of standing alone in front of cold window in some muggle hotel room lost in the middle of nowhere, he would be sitting in front of the fire somewhere in nice little house, reading books, or doing research in his lab, or writing articles, or… No, he should think about it. He has a task to concentrate on: horcruxes. _Only three more to be destroyed and he can contact the order and it would be up to the Potter brat to act._ He just hoped that the Order is doing something about his duelling skills. It had been three months and he didn't have a single information from the Order. He knew what was happening in castle thanks to Draco, but he had to be very careful. As the Dark Lord lost his spy inside of the castle he needed a new one. And he managed to convince the Dark Lord that Draco was perfect for this role. That way he killed more than two birds with one shot: first Draco was safe, then he had a contact with the Order, and finally, claiming that Draco needed training as Spy, he was still useful to the Dark Lord. _Hopefully Draco will never have to attend a single meeting. The Order will keep an eye on him; as for the Dark Lord, the boy can always argue that he is very closely watched and thus he has to be very careful because any unwise step can end up in his expulsion_.

The script was written and the roles were distributed a long time ago. Now it was up to the players to stage the play. He hopped everything was fine at Hogwarts. He was playing his role very good. He hoped that it'll not take more than four months to finish with Horcruxes. And it'll be up to the order to act. You add another two month to get ready and then there will be IT. The Battle. Six more month at most and he'll be either dead or free. He really should come up with the strategy to stay alive. _Yes, I'll survive, so I can live. I wish to stay alive and be free. Free. Free. I wish to be free._


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello! I'm so sorry for such a long delay, but I was very busy lately. You know, you just can't put the real life aside… Also, it is the period of exams and they are very important to me. Anyway, in order to be forgiven here is a nice long chapter, where some of the questions are answered. I admit that I'm not very happy with some parts but I just do not know how to make it better…

Thank you to all who reviewed, it means a lot to me: Aleja21, Killer Angel, Valour01, notwritten, yapyap, DanniV, Sampdoria, Megan Consoer.

I guess it is pointless to ask but I'll give it a try: still no beta?

Now on with the story…

Chapter 4 :

_D__ear Hermione,_

_I and your dad were so glad to finally receive the news from you! We miss you so much dear. But first of all I would like to apologize for not answering __you sooner: we know that you were looking forward our letter and we felt quite bad about keeping you waiting. But we wanted to receive first the confirmation before writing to you. What confirmation? you are surely asking yourself; let me explain. Remember this couple, Jason and Alison, we met while we were on holidays in France? And guess what? They are members of an American dental association and they invited us to come to New York for four month as part of international exchange program! It is such an opportunity, it is a chance of lifetime and we do not want to miss it. _

_Everything is settled already: we are starting on November the seco__nd._

_I'll not lie to you: it pains u__s a lot to leave the practice for so long, but I'm sure Edward (remember the new associate we took last year?) will be perfectly able to keep it going. After all it is only a temporary… But that brings us to another question: we would like you to come to Seattle for Christmas. It is a long way, but distance is nothing when it comes to your family._

_We love you,_

_Your mum & dad_

§§§

_Dear mum & dad,_

_I'm so glad for you! I can only imagine what an opportunity it is for you both. As for the practice, do not worry: I'm sure Edward (yes, I do remember him) will be able to keep it running for few months._

_As for the Christmas, it is true that I said that I wanted to spend it with you this year, but at that moment I assumed it would be in England. So I'm sorry to say that I'll not be able to join you this year for the celebration. As you pointed out, New York is quite a long way from Hogwarts, even for a witch. I hope you understand that this year I do not have as much freedom as previous ones: first of all it is my last year and I have NEWTs, and I just can not allow myself the luxury of not doing anything for two weeks (and it will be exactly that if I come to see you. I know you are thinking that I can bring books with me, but you say it every time, and it just does not work!). And I have also duties as Head Girl. So I hope you understand that I just do not have enough time. I understand that you are disappointed, and believe me that I'm as well, because I really intended to have a family Christmas this year, but I'm sure you will want for your daughter what is best, and in this situation for me is best to stay in England._

_Love you,_

_Hermione_

§§§

_Hermione, _

_I admit that we were quite shocked by your reply. When we asked you to spend Christmas holidays with us, we never expected 'no' as an answer. I and your dad we deeply regret this decision of yours, but by all means, do what you think is best._

_Your parents_

§§§

Hermione stared at the letter in her hands, forgetting the breakfast she was eating. She was trying to determine what emotions she was feeling. No, correction: she knew what she was feeling, but she was trying to figure out which one was predominant. Sadness at disappointing her parents, anger at them for not supporting her or relief for them being safe. _My parents are disappointed in me… But what could I do? I mean with everything that is happening I just can not leave Britain. Seriously, how am I supposed to admit to them that we are at war and the Ministry is closely monitoring the borders? And now being the member of the Order it was as good as if there was a huge sign saying 'restricted to travel abroad' put on me. But at least my parents will be away and thus safe. And that is the most important._ So relief it would be, definitely. A small smile appeared on her face and she turned to her friends, who were sending her worried looks:

- "Oh, do not look so worried, Harry, it was just the letter from my parents. They are slightly disappointed that I'll not be spending Christmas with them, but nothing to be worried about. So what were you saying about this match with Ravenclaws?"

_They are so easily distract__ed…_

At the same time in the Great Hall, just few meters from the Gryffindors, another person was reading the reply he was waiting for. Draco read the first familiar lines he wrote himself two days ago:

_Dear Uncle,_

_I just wanted to let you know that the second weekend of October is Hogsmead week-end._

_Yours, Draco._

But just underneath it there was one line that was not there before

_Same place, same time._

§§§

Hermione left breakfast earlier than her friends, explaining that she had to check on potion before classes. There was no need for that, because she already checked it before the breakfast, but really they didn't need to know that. She just needed to be alone for a few moments and Great Hall was not the best place for that. Lately, she found herself more and more seeking the solitude._ I just need to think, I need to process the information and figure out how my life changed. Sometimes I feel like a completely different person, but sometimes it seems that nothing changed at all. So what is wrong with me?_

It had been two weeks since her introduction in the order and she still could not get rid of the impression that something was wrong, very wrong.

Flashback:

She could still remember how quick was her heart racing when she knocked at the door of Headmistress office door. When she entered there were only two people there: Headmistress herself and Professor Lupin.

- "Headmistress, Professor," - she greeted them both. Lupin nodded and Professor McGonagall gestured at the only chair that was free

- "Please sit down, Miss Granger." After Hermione made herself comfortable in the armchair that was facing both Headmistress and Professor Lupin, she continued:

- "It is quite a difficult situation we found ourselves in. I admit that I was not prepared for our conversation yesterday. You are a smart girl, there is no doubt about it: I knew that you would understand everything in due time but I didn't expect you to figure out everything on your own and so soon. It was my mistake to underestimate you, so please forgive me."

- "Professor, I do not understand…"

- "Please, Miss Granger let me finish, and I'll answer all of your questions. But before we continue, there is a little formality to go through. Miss Granger, the information we are discussing is highly confidential and we can not take a risk for it to fall in wrong hands. So Miss Granger are you ready and willing to join the Order of the Phoenix?"

To say that Hermione was surprised means says nothing at all. She looked at her former teacher trying to find any sign of whether it was a joke, but the face was deadly serious. Seconds passed and she still didn't utter a word. Her brain was giving her hints to say something, but her mouth was refusing to cooperate. Finally she managed to say:

- "Me. In Order?" _Well, that was eloquent, bravo Hermione!_

- "Yes you, Hermione, - said Remus, - Unless of course you see another Miss Granger in this room."

- "But, how it is… I mean I'm just… What I wanted to say is…"

- "Miss Granger, you are making no sense",- it was again McGonagal's turn to speak. _I hope she will not refuse. Otherwise how am I supposed to explain to her that she is already a member of the Order? Maybe a little bit of intimidation will work… It always did with Severus. "_We are not asking you to justify yourself. I asked a simple question and the only thing you need to answer is 'yes' or by 'no'." Then her face softened and she continued "Miss Granger, I understand it is all very sudden for you, but we do not have a lot of time, and we can not afford loosing it'

- "Yes, Headmistress, and I of course I'll join the Order! It is an honor for me to help the cause" _Wow, I managed the whole sentence! And my tendency to ramble is back, so I guess the shock is wearing off._

- "Perfect! Let's start then. Remus, will you start please"

- "Of course, Minerva". He brought out his wand and pointed it on the Head Girl. "Miss Granger, take out you wand please and repeat after me."

- "I, Hermione Granger,'

- "I, Hermione Granger', repeated Hermione

- "solemnly swear to be loyal to the Order of Phoenix, its believes and its cause."

- "solemnly swear to be loyal to the Order of Phoenix, its believes and its cause".

- "swear to protect its ideals which I believe being my own and work towards the common goal."

Hermione repeated again, and as soon she finished the last word, she felt a bizarre sensation running from the tips of the fingers on her wand arm towards her stomach. When she looked at her right hand she could see something glowing on her little finger, and at closer inspection she could say it was a ring.

- "Welcome to the Order, Miss Granger!

End of the Flashback

§§§

Hermione looked at her hand, the ring was not visible but she could feel it was there. As Minerva and Remus explained to her, this ring was designed by Professor Dumbledore during the war against Grindewald, and was used a by many members of order during the first rise of Tom Riddle. Now it was compulsory for every member to have one as a security measure. It possessed a localization charm, which was activated when there was a serious reason to believe that the member was in trouble or missing; it also was a communication device in case of emergency.

First, Hermione was worried about wearing this ring around the school especially due to no jewelry policy but soon she discovered two things: first, that she can not remove the ring at her free will, and second, that it would sink into the skin when not needed so nobody can see or feel it. Actually, when one comes to think of it, this little device was quite ingenious. Staring at the ring brought her thoughts back to the evening.

Flashback:

- "Miss Granger, started Headmistress, nobody but few selected members of the Order know what I'm about to tell you. So as I said, in accepting to become the member of the order of Phoenix, you accepted to keep its secrets. But I insist again that you can not tell anyone, what I'm about to tell you, the magic that exists in the bond, will prevent it. You wondered about professor Snape, about what happened at the end of your last year. Indeed he is innocent, in the sense he did not betrayed the Order. Not long time after the summer holidays began, we found few pieces of evidences, including the pensive of Albus. As you probably already know, his last obsession – and yes, it was exactly that, an obsession, was to find and destroy all the Horcruxes, so Harry can complete his part. But he made a mistake, and as consequence, while destroying one of the Horcruxes, he nearly destroyed himself. Only by shear luck he stayed alive and only thanks to the effort and knowledge of Professor Snape he was able to stay alive for nearly a year. But Albus knew, that he was dying and he started to train Mr Potter to take his place afterwards in his search of Horcruxes. But then an unpredictable event came to bring down all the plans: professor Snape, as part of his spy activities – I'm sure it is not surprise for you, that Professor Snape is a spy for the Order – made an unbreakable vow to Narcissa Malfoy to accomplish the task that Voldemort set for Draco to accomplish, if Draco fails. Severus had no choice to agree, in order to keep his cover. Anyway, neither Narcissa, nor Severus knew what this task was about. It only much later, that we learned that this task was to make Death Eaters enter the castle and to kill Headmaster. So Albus made a decision: as I mentioned he was already dying and his last wish was that his death was not vain. So Albus made Severus promise that he would go through the task. I do not know how he managed to convince him, to be honest: I suspect, it must have been a powerful binding spell, something like unbreakable vow or wizard debt. But now, only Severus knows the truth. The only Albus' worry was that he never got the chance to finish Harry's training. So he instructed Remus to continue with it, but it fell upon Severus the task to destroy the remaining Horcruxes. So you see, you were on the right path to discover everything. Now you know.

There was an uncomfortable silence that followed the long speech delivered by the Headmistress. Professor McGonagall was waiting for Hermione to process the information and her reaction, as was Remus. He looked particularly concerned, the 'worried' frown on the Head Girl's face was not something he liked to see.

Over last few years he started considering her as a niece he never had, as Harry was his nephew. It was subconscious thought but coming to think of it, it was a logical one as he always considered James as his brother. Hermione, being like the sister to Harry, fell directly under the classification of "family". However he never was able to put Ron on the same level as other two of the Golden Trio, and he felt slightly guilty about it. Maybe it was due to the fact that Ron had such a big family that he didn't need more uncles? On the contrary, Hermione and Harry were different story, Harry being an orphan, and Hermione being a muggleborn, her parents belong to a different world, so it was as if she was an orphan in wizard community. She was such a brave witch, she always took care of everyone around her, but Remus noticed that not many people cared about her. Of course teachers loved her, but it was because she was the brightest student they had since a long time. Harry and Ron loved her, but they were… well boys, and the boys just do not notice many things. There was Miss Weasley but she was so worried about Harry, that she just didn't have time to worry about others. And there was the Order: the adults who were so caught up with the war, that Remus was not sure that they were seeing her as somebody other than the friend of the boy who lived.

He was brought from his thoughts by Hermione voicing her question.

- "And where is now professor Snape?"

Remus looked at Minerva, wondering how she was going to answer this question. _Here comes the tricky part of the conversation._

- "We do not know that, Miss Granger', answered Minerva, her voice completely void of emotions, but Remus knew that she was only trying to be calm in front of the student.

- "What do you mean, 'you do not know'? Were you not looking for him? Did you let him know that you knew he was innocent? That you still trusted him and that he was not the pariah?"

- "Aurors and Ministry are looking for him, but without success. As for contacting him, we are not sure it is a wise move: we do not what he is doing and there is a risk to sabotage his cover."

- "So you are telling me, that you know for sure that professor Snape is innocent, but you have absolutely no idea where he is, what he is doing and whether he needs help. For all you know, he can be dead, but you are still waiting for him accomplish his task and manifest himself?" Hermione looked at her teachers silently begging to contradict her. She could feel her stomach twisting in a knot at the idea that her former professor could be dead. Such idea never crossed her mind. _I was sure the Order knew everything. Please, tell me you do: I'm not asking for much, am I? Just tell me he is alright, it is all I'm asking for._

- "Miss Granger, please understand, that there was an agreement between Headmaster and professor Snape, and according to it, it is up to him to contact the Order and not the other way round." At this point Headmistress looked Hermione in eyes for the first time during the whole evening and Hermione realized just how tired she was. Last few months must have been difficult for her former transfiguration teacher: after the death of Albus Dumbledore, she found herself not only as the head of school, but also at the head of the Order. It was now up to her to deal with Ministry and board of governors, find new teachers, preside the meetings of the Order and take all important decisions as well as decide on the strategy of the war. _They do have strategy, right?_

Meanwhile, Minetva continued: "I admit, that it pains me a lot not to know what is going on with Severus. I know him since he was eleven years old and I care about him a lot but the best thing we can do now is wait." '_Wait'? So their strategy is waiting?_ But she didn't think that voicing her thoughts would be a good idea, so instead Hermione just said:

- "I understand, professor. But may I ask you what about Malfoy?".

- "What about Malfoy?"

- "Well, he was the one who had to kill Headmaster and he did run away with professor Snape before the official end of the school year. I checked the rules, and while there is nothing about the last point, the attempted murder of the Headmaster is classified as the physical attack of the staff member and it results in the expulsion."

- "Hermione, this is a very difficult and tricky situation. I know that it may seem illogical to you, but it is very important for Draco to stay at school. Considering that he was not the one to actually cast the spell, he can not be charged with murder or physical attack for that matter. However, for all others rule transgressions, there were disciplinary sanctions taken. Surely you must have noticed that he lost his prefect badge and he was serving detentions the first two weeks of the school year. Do you have any other questions, Hermione?"

- "No, Professor. You answered them all" _Well, you said that you do not know the answers. What is the point of asking?_

- "Good, Miss Granger, then we can sort out few things related to your new status of the member of Order of Phoenix. First, I must remind you again that none of this business must be discussed with anyone, especially not with Messieurs Potter and Weasley. Those two gentlemen must stay in blissful ignorance, for their own good, I assure you. Second, I will ask you to participate in the Order duties, like school patrols. I know you have already curfew rounds as Head Girl, but I would like you to add two night patrols on Fridays and Saturdays; we will not ask you to do those on school night, because we do not want your studies suffer. Also, in case you stay in the Castle during Christmas holidays we would like to count on you. The same goes for the supervision of Hogsmead weekends and I'm sure that Mr Finch-Fletchley will be glad to help you with the last task.

- "Of course, Professor, you can count on me."

- "Now, Miss Granger, we covered the essential points today. If ever you have any questions, my office is always open for you, but it is getting very late and I'm sure your friends are worried."

Here she turned to professor Lupin: "Remus, would you be please so kind to escort Miss Granger to the Gryffindor tower?"

- "Of course, Headmistress."

They said their goodbyes and with that they left.

End Flashback

In fact, it reminded Hermione that the Hogsmead Weekend was in two days and she still had to confirm with Justin the patrol schedule. _We have arithmancy together this morning, so I guess I'll discuss it then._

§§§

After she and Justin once again confirmed who will cover which part of Hogsmead, she went directly to Quiditch shop as she promised to join Harry and Ron there. Lavender and Ginny went with them so she guessed there will be five of them. What was again that saying about the fifth wheel? Anyway, she will have to do her rounds every now and then: as Head Girl, she just had to go wander around, checking that there are no fights, students are behaving etc., nothing different from her rounds in the Castle. But now, as the Order member, she'll have to be more vigilant, observing the students not only from the point of view of what they are doing but also anticipating what they were about to do. _It is in the moment like that, that I start to appreciate the job professors are doing, how am I supposed to know what is running through the head of a hormones driven teenagers?_

Anyway, just the moment she was about to enter the favorite shop of her male friends, she saw Draco Malfoy going out of the shop nearby, going in the opposite direction from where she was standing, looking as proud and smug as always. Nothing was amiss with him, apart from the fact that he was completely alone: no Crabbe, no Goyle, no even Parkinson, his so-called girlfriend... _Strange…_ Even after he lost his prefect status, for what was called disciplinary insubordination, that's for leaving the castle before the end of the school year, he kept all his friends and didn't become the pariah of the House. _He is probably the idol now that he is associated with Voldemort. I still don't get how McGonagall took him back knowing that it is because of him at the first place that Dumbledore is dead. Coming to think of it, how did they manage to make Harry shut up? Strange, strange… I mean, he was screaming bloody murder the fist part of the summer and now he is all quite? I guess this is something I have to ask Headmistress. Is there another little device, making people keep secrets? Or it is just a potion or some kind of spell? _

Without even realizing what she was doing Hermione changed her direction and instead going into the shop to join her friends she was following Draco Malfoy. Lost in her thoughts, Hermione didn't even notice how she came to the end of the village, just in time to see her fellow student disappearing behind the corner of the last house, and thus leaving the authorized perimeter. _Gotcha! Now I have an excuse to follow you! _But as she turned the corner, there was no one in sight anymore. She lost him. _What a great spy are you Hermione! Not even able to follow a student! I wish professor Snape was here to ask him some advice on how to improve my technique._ As soon as this thought crossed her mind, she started to giggle like a first year.

_Well, that would be fun. She just could imagine the face of Severus Snape if she asked some__thing like : "I'm sorry to bother you professor, but I really need to learn how to spy on people, can you help me? After all, you have such a knowledge and first hand practice…"_

_No, now is not a moment to let your imagination wander,_ she reprimanded herself, but a little too late. _Where the hell Malfoy disappeared?_

She looked around. Behind her was the village, and he definitively didn't go there. On her left was an open space and there was no way, he could run fast enough to be out of view so soon. _He could have apparated… No, it's not possible, all the apparition is tracked around Hogsmead, if ever someone did try it, the aurors would immediately know who apparated and where._ Hermione knew about this rule as the member of the Order. As Professor McGonagall explained, this security measure was set up already during the first war, but was not in use after the first fall of Voldemort. It was activated again after the Triwizard tournament, when the risk became once again too important. Those who lived in Hogsmead and the teachers were on what was called green list, meaning their destinations were not tracked down, but as for everybody else, it was possible to know who apparated where and from where. _So much for democracy, muggle's Human rights associations would have freaked out if they knew about it. But I guess it is a necessary measure, and personally, I'd prefer to be monitored but safe. But back to the subject: Where is Malfoy? _

She walked slightly further, and the place started to look familiar. She didn't have time to wonder why it was looking so familiar, when she saw a movement in the direction she was going; someone was coming her way but suddenly turned, so she accelerated trying not to loose from the view the new object of her pursuits. Even if the stranger wore a hood and she couldn't make out his face, Hermione could tell it was definitely not Malfoy: the man was taller and moved with more grace than Malfoy could ever manage. Something seemed familiar in him, but Hermione could not identify him without seeing his face.

She was continuing to follow him, when she understood where they were going: _The caves! That's why the place seemed familiar: we went with Harry and Ron there in our third year! Perfect place for secret meeting, maybe I should have told someone? Shall I go back and inform the Order and aurors?_

But the moment, the Head Girl was about to make the wise decision, the wind blew up and the hood slipped for a brief moment from the head of the stranger. But this little second was enough for Hermione to identify him: it was Severus Snape. _He is alive! And he is here!_ This were the only coherent thoughts that run through Hermione's mind at the moment, and she started practically to run in order to catch up with him. _I do not care whether he sees me, but I just can not screw up such a possibility to speak with him! _They were already near the caves, _if he reaches them, it will be damn difficult to find him._ So she accelerated again, thanks to the extra training she was getting from Remus, she was developing nice muscles, but running in boots with high heels and a skirt was not an easiest thing to do. _Damn my last obsession with skirts! Damn my friend Helena, who pointed out during the summer holidays that I look 'hot' (her words, not mine) in them!_ But as he predicted, Severus Snape, disappeared in caves much earlier than she managed to reach them, and by the time she was standing at the point where she last saw her former professor, the said professor was nowhere to be seen.

"Damn!" she swore out loud. _I find myself doing it quite often lately, I really should control myself better._

She was about to take another step when suddenly somebody sneaked on her from behind. Hermione wanted to scream, but the attacked hand covered her mouth stopping her from calling for help. _As if anyone will hear me anyway… And I didn't even tell anyone where I was going; nobody will be looking for me…_ As the thoughts flew through her head, in space of one second she stopped being just scarred: now she was definitely panicked! But before she could start imagine the worse scenarios, a silky voice whispered in her ear:

- "What do you think you are doing, Miss Granger?" _Professor Snape! _She wanted to answer but his hand on her mouth was preventing her from speaking. Without letting her go he continued: "Did you really think that you could follow me without me noticing? Especially if you are as discreet as an elephant?" Without giving her the possibility to answer he continued: "You are scared." It was not a question. "I can feel you shiver, but what did you expect while following the murderer?"

_I know, I know the truth. I know_ runs through her mind but she is unable to say it aloud. Her back was still pressed to the body of her once hated teacher, she could feel his body and his voice always very low, but silky, and… disturbing. _What is wrong with me? I must be going mad. _Then unexpectedly, Snape released her, spinned her around but before she could utter a word placed a silencing charm on the girl. She tried to say something but nothings was coming out.

- "You can not imagine, Miss Granger, what a pleasure to have you silent, I should have thought about his spell long time ago. Too bad the teachers are not allowed to curse student. Pity."

Again Hermione tried to say that she knew everything, but again failed miserably. Then she closed her eyes and tried to think very hanr about being the Order member, and as the result the ring, that was hidden in her skin appeared, visible to Snape. Gradually, stone mask on Severus Snape's face slipped, and Hermione could see that he was definitely intrigued. The change was so small that for somebody who didn't know Severus Snape, it would go unnoticed, but for Hermione it was enough.

He looked into her eyes and the images of her speech with Minerva flew through her head

- "Interresting… So, I take, you are now in the Order," – he said while lifting the spell – "They must be really desperate, to let the child in. Tell me, are Potter and Weasley also in the Order?

- "No, sir, they are not. I guess the Order is not that desperate. I don't think they even thought about including me, but…"

- "Spare me, Miss Granger, I do not wish to know what possessed the Order to take such a foolish decision, I was blissfully unaware of their idiocies for the past 4 month, and I try to preserve this blissful ignorance for slightly longer. Now, I have business to attend, go back to Hogsmead and forget about seeing me."

- "But sir, you cannot walk away just like that!"

- "And why not, Miss Granger?"

- "Don't you have a message for the Order? It had been months since they heard from you, certainly you have something to say…"

- "And what makes you think that if I have something to say to the Order, I'll make you my messenger?"

- "Because I know the truth about you and you can trust me."

- "Well, I concede that you the point about the truth, as for the trust… You are mistaken, Miss Granger, I can not trust you."

Hermione felt a little sting of hurt at his words and her first impulse was to contradict him, but immediately decided against it. _Arguing with Professor Snape is the worst thing one can do while trying to prove one's point._ So instead she said.

- "Well, give me then a chance to prove you that I can be trustworthy".

- "You had six years for that, and you managed just the opposite. Give me one reason why it should change right now?"

- "You need someone inside the Castle to be able to pass information back and forth".

- "I already have a TRUSTWORTHY person in the castle"

- "But do you have the a person in the Order?"

There was a silence between them. It was impossible to say what Professor Snape was thinking, while Hermione was silently praying that he would accept her proposition. She could say why it was so important to her, she just knew it was.

Then Severus Snape made an unusual thing: he put his arms on Hermione's shoulders and while staring right to her eyes said:

- "Miss Granger, I'll keep in mind your offer and if I get very desperate I might use it. But unless it is life or death situation I doubt it very much. But know I'm not in life threatening situation, so the best thing you can do is turn around, go back to your little friends and forget about seeing me."

With that he turned and left, and she just stood there still feeling the echo of the strangely comforting heat of his hands on her shoulders and she never noticed the little lock of her hair disappearing inside the voluminous robes of Severus Snape.

A/N: Do not forget: the magic word "review" ;)


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